Friday, November 11, 2011

Sweet November (A Quick Review of the Year So Far)

       As I am typing this I have recently got hit with that motivational slump people get on the last few weeks of school. So in order to pretend that I am being productive and wanting get my monthly post done here is another short post.

Ten Things I Never Thought Would Happen (But Totally Did)

       This was a weird year for cinema to say the least, not to that it was bad, in fact it was a really good year.  Yet some of the better films are so unexpected that they could easily have been the worst films of the year.  For greater irony the films that should have been great turn out to be mediocre at best. For example, I never thought that...

1.  A film about baseball statistics can be more fun than Cowboys & Aliens.

2.  Cowboys & Aliens even exists.

3. Pixar would be outwitted by Winnie the Pooh.

4.  A studio can remake of the fourth sequel of Planet of The Apes, which was the prequel of the series, then turn that into a reboot for a new series of films, and still make it a good film.

5.  Adult men actually watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic...

6.  ... and that the show is actually not bad... wanna see an awkward transition?

 Thanks Pinkie Pie.

7.  During a time when cinema is at a modern technology renaissance, filmmakers are going back to create silent movies.

This is real, and everyone who saw it, loved it.

8.  It is possible to make a film about William Shakespeare without doing any research on Shakespeare.

9.  Zack Synder would prove with his latest flop, Sucker Punch, that it is possible create a movie that is both pompous and mind-numbingly stupid.

10.  Martin Scorsese, a director who made a career out of violent, dark, gritty, and violent movies is making Hugo, children's movie.

       This weird year is actually from the aftermath of the summer when many predicted hits did not meet expectations.  By the Hollywood standard this was a terrible year as many high budget films like Cars 2, The Green Lantern, and Sucker Punch were critically panned and barely made any money.  Meanwhile there many critically acclaimed, albeit smaller films that never stood a chance thanks to really bad marketing choices; the most egregious example was when some idiot thought that Winnie the Pooh should premiere on July 15, the weekend now known as "The Great Harry Potter Massacre". Yet there were still many great films that came out this summer and the winter season, come on, a year with a Muppet movie is always a good year. Also Ryan Gosling and Michael Fassbender are shaping themselves to be the next Steve McQueen and Marlon Brando, respectively.  Carey Mulligan, Jessica Chastain and get this, Elizabeth Oslen are spontaneously becoming some of the finest actresses in the business. In short, while Hollywood had a few bad films this year, these random gems are more than enough to compensate for these failures and the independent film industry has never been better.


  1. I've gotta ask... that My Little Pony clip remind you of a certain 90's cartoon called ren and stimpy??? That eye movement was almost exactly the same as that famous clip where Ren snaps. I'd like to add a number 11 to that. A year where a chick flick can actually turn out to be really good (Crazy Stupid Love).

  2. 12. That Captain America would have more success in foreign box offices than in the domestic box office.

    This list could probably be doubled by New Year's Eve. I think I know which Ren & Stimpy you're talking about, was it the one where Ren's brother visits and wrecks the house?

  3. Wasn't it Stimpy's? Maybe not. Regardless, yeah, that's the one.

    And are you serious about the Cap? That's embarrassing... Well, it was the worst of the four Avengers movies so...

  4. It's not embarrassing at all when you realize that the Cap made $175,000,000 in the States and 190,000,000 in the foreign market. Still less than Thor but very impressing for a character that is a walking PR disaster.

    13. A prequel to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was made.